How is it done? How do you screw the taxpayer for millions, get away with it and then ride off into the sunset with one middle finger extended, the other wrapped around a chilled martini?

The first thing you need to know about Goldman Sachs is that it’s everywhere. The world’s most powerful investment bank is a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money.

“So, you’re doing a Boys on the Bus thing, right?” The original Boys on the Bus raised a few eyebrows, sure, but no one anywhere is threatened by a “Boys on the Bus thing” now.

Let’s just lock up our high school dropouts in toy factories, get those little bastards making radioactive Lego sets six days a week for a buck a shift. Imagine the profits!

Neither Christy Mack nor Susan Karches has any serious history in business, but the Federal Reserve handed them both low-interest loans of nearly a quarter of a billion dollars. The federal aid they received falls under a broad category of bailout initiatives called “giving already stinking rich people gobs of money for no fucking reason at all.”

Goldman Sachs and other big banks aren’t just pocketing the trillions we gave them to rescue the economy — they’re re-creating the conditions for another crash.